Christmas Wasn’t Perfect: How to Let Go
Written By Esther Davy
Christmas wasn’t what I thought it would be this year. It wasn’t that I didn’t get a new car or apple airpods or some other great gift. We didn’t really have any family drama this year. It was just different than I envisioned…. See, my day job is in design. I’m always planning and visualizing the future, whether it’s an office, a hike, or a holiday. But Christmas just never seems to be what I imagined. I guess all of life and parenting is like that.
We Hosted 16 People. We hosted Christmas this year for my whole extended family at our home in Golden, CO. There’s 11 adults, 5 kids, and 3 dogs all trying to live in peace under one roof for the majority of five days. You might be thinking, “Wow, that’s brave”. But Mr. Mountaineer and I love having lots of people around. We did a fair amount of skiing at Breckenridge and played Holiday Lights Mini-Golf. Where our toddler spent the whole night buried into someone’s chest because she was terrified of the erupting volcano. Read more here.
christmas Expectations
But I had imagined our days at home spent playing board games, watching Christmas movies, and drinking spiked eggnog. It just didn’t turn out that way. With 5 different families, everyone had different schedules and ideas of how to spend the time. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I actually really enjoyed our time together…. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it just wasn’t what I had thought it would be.
Christmas eve
On Christmas Eve, my brother in law actually had to work at his climbing gym. Right after Thanksgiving we all decided it would make the greatest family photo ever if all 16 of us dressed up in Family Pajamas, one color per family. So, Christmas Eve was supposed to be our family PJ party playing games and listening to Christmas Albums from the 80s and 90s. I took the bait, hook, line and sinker and believed the whole thing. Of course, I imagined our family to be as in love and happy as these professional models in a Lands End advertisement.
so much pressure
Do you ever get swept up in the pressure and expectations that come with commercializing Christmas? Or is it just me? Do you hope for family peace and harmony and instead are patiently working through awkward family interactions? So, instead of a homey PJ party, we all gathered at my Brother-in-Law’s climbing gym and spent the afternoon. Again, not what I had planned or imagined.
But you know what? It was actually really fun. We did get quite a few looks for our matching PJs from Primary.com. But everyone enjoyed themselves and we even got our big family picture, climbing harnesses and all!
Let go a little
I had decided the day before that I was going to try and relax about the whole thing and let go just a little (Not something I do well. AT ALL. No Seriously.) But letting go has its advantages. I stopped feeling responsible for people having a good time. I didn’t have to rush out to put the girls down for their normal naptime. I was able to be a little more present, a little more grateful, and laugh a little at the 16 family members in pajamas taking over the local climbing gym.
be present in 2020
I know as parents, it is so easy to be tempted to try and control everything, to make things great for ourselves and our kids. But when we do, and things turn out differently than we imagined, can we let go and enjoy the moment? Can we be present enough with our children to share to together? This is a goal of mine for 2020: To plan, prep, and then accept what the day brings.
How was your Christmas different from what you expected? Any tips on letting go of perfect and being present with your kids?
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